Adventures in Rooting to Rise – Page 4

Finding Strength in the Unknown~

Posted on May 28, 2016 by twomomsadmin

As I go about my day… the feeling of loneliness tries to creep in– but I ignore it knowing that something has changed in me these past weeks. I am starting to feel the strength of knowing who I am again. The calmness and peace of truly knowing who you are in this world and what you have to offer is nothing short of a gift. As I sit in the silence of my home sipping a glass of chardonnay and eating left over chicken salad for dinner, I listen to the sounds of spring; the melody of frogs chirping and croaking outside my open window brings an immense sense of peace and calmness. Not wanting for anything in this moment, I know that my true self is slowly emerging into place.

It has been a long two weeks; I don’t ever want to feel even the remanence of emotions that my past has evoked, though it was a necessity for me to feel every last bit that had haunted me within. When you choose not to distract yourself with false monetary pretenses, it is then that the lessons you are meant to learn in life show themselves in the light that you need to see and feel them. There are times when you are amidst these lessons that you feel there is no possible way you will ever be whole again, but it is also at those most intense times that change is occurring deep within your being; it is important to know and hold on to the knowledge of this.

Though my most recent changes have been the onset of this raw and all-encompassing emotional state, it is these changes that have freed me to seek out who I am, where I belong and to accomplish in this life what I have been predestined to. –“Woman must come of age by herself. She must find her center alone.” – Anne Morrow Lindbergh

I do feel that the path we take in life creates who it is we are meant to be– though I can’t help but to wonder if some of the choices I made while traveling my path has prolonged the arrival of my destination. Destination – is there a final destination? I think I am now learning that there is not and furthermore, that there is not meant to be one. I have been on a search since I can remember, for something to grab hold of me and give me that feeling that I have arrived at the right destination. I am finally realizing and taking hold of the true meaning of a quote by Ralph Waldo Emerson, “Life is a journey, not a destination.” I find peace and excitement within these words. The fulfillment of not knowing what is going to happen and the endless possibilities that this notion creates is enough to launch me leaps and bounds ahead of where I was just one short year ago. I am grateful for my resilience and dedication to press on through all the discomfort and confusion and to be able to arrive at this very place.

As the warmer weather has been ushered in by the onset of spring, I realize through the winter there was a sense of renewal taking place. Each year as winter approaches the trees shed themselves of their leaves so in spring their renewed beauty has a place to reveal itself and so it is with me, through this winter I was shedding my old self to bring forth the renewed beauty of who I am becoming.

So here I am as Memorial Day weekend is approaching, a time when families and friends gather to enjoy one another’s company. I have been on the pursuit this whole week to find a place to fit in so I don’t feel the absence of what this weekend is about to bring, a feeling of loneliness. My Rebekah is with her father, my parents are out of town and my friends are preoccupied with their own life’s challenges. Having an evening alone is a welcomed thought, but enduring a holiday weekend for four days and nights without plans goes against my grain. I have settled into the notion that this is for a purpose; I am learning and practicing to trust the process of life. I have changed my mindset to embrace this time to have a more deepened sense of self- by myself. Becoming honest with me and trusting life’s process to guide me has been an incredibly difficult feat. My past has taught me the need to challenge and control- but within that there was a sense of responsibility that was exhausting and uncomfortable, like swimming upstream against the current. In letting go of this need to predestine my time, I am learning to feel content with not knowing. My openness to an unscheduled life is an olive branch extended toward learning to trust life, myself,others, and God.

I will end with a quote from the book I am reading, A Year by the Sea – by Joan Anderson, “When one is freshly informed, has a serendipitous experience, one’s mood is changed. That is why taking time to see, hear, be present to images and language that arises from new experiences have the power to change one from one way to another.” – Clarissa Pinkola Este’s

Live well xo

Running for Safe Harbors ~

Posted on May 15, 2016July 12, 2022 by twomomsadmin

Today I ran the 10^th annual Safe Harbors of the Hudson 5k race! It was a chilly windy morning but it felt great once the race got underway.

This race supports Safe Harbor’s mission which is, “Transforming lives and building communities through housing and the arts”. To read more about Safe Harbor’s work in the Newburgh Community check out the link provided…. http://www.safe-harbors.org/about-us/

When I read about this race last year I knew I wanted to participate in this event, but unfortunately the timing was off so I was set on making it happen this time around! This course lends beautiful views of the Hudson River- this plus the great cause it supports encouraged me to be a part of today’s event.

Running along side such an intricate part of history is both awe inspiring and thrilling. I hope the richness this valley and river has brought from the past continues to be a motivating factor in restoring it to it’s fullest potential for the future.

There were runners of all ages and stages involved in today’s event, including a 70 year old woman who completed the three mile run in just 35 minutes! Kudos to her; I sure hope I will be able to do the same when I reach her age!

I want to encourage you to find something in your life that makes you smile, that helps others, and helps to inspire and encourage others in a positive way~

Live Well

The Jungle Book ~ What a Great Message!

Posted on May 13, 2016July 12, 2022 by twomomsadmin

What better way to spend a Friday night then with my best friend and our two best girls.

I took my reluctant Rebekah and off we went to the movies. She wasn’t so keen on going to see the Jungle Book, she was convinced it would be boring- NO WAY! It’s a Disney movie!

I haven’t been to our local mall’s theater in quite some time and was pleasantly surprised to see we had recliner seats! We settled in, reclined back and started shoving fists full of sodium loaded kernels into our mouths. As the movie began it felt as if Mowgli dashed right past us in attempt to keep up with his wolf pack family, “I know you are not a wolf Mowgli, but you MUST try to act more like one, you must stay low to the ground.”

From that point on the breath taking scenery brought us straight into Mowgli’s world making it easy to forget about the world that lies right outside the theater doors; we traveled through beautiful deserts, the rain forest and to a waterfall. This movie brought the once animated characters of the Jungle Book to life on the screen right before our eyes. At one point I found myself wanting to jump into the screen onto Baloo’s belly along with Mowgli as they floated down the jungle river singing ~ Bare Necessities ~

I don’t want to give away the most spectacular parts so I will go straight to the ending which left us with an amazing message, not only for children but for adults as well.

Be yourself- be who you were created to be. When you are true to your genuine self, the person God made you to be and listening to the whispers of your heart allowing them to guide you in life, you can accomplish amazing feats.

This movie truly touched me in a very special way and Rebekah didn’t think it was boring one bit! She loved it as well~

“What You Resist Really Does Persist”

Posted on May 7, 2016May 24, 2016 by twomomsadmin

Learning to ~Trust~ Myself and Life

My last excerpt in, My Personal Journey, I spoke about discovering my inner child and the importance of her having trust and faith that I would take care of her. I have been working diligently on this, though I did encounter some road blocks and it took me a little while to find the next important path to travel.

As I mentioned in previous posts, when the decision was made to end my marriage, my initial feeling was that of relief – I was ready to surrender, claim my losses and move forward. After moving past the emotions equated with loss, I quickly moved onto dealing with unresolved emotions that were buried deep within and that was the fruition of ‘Meeting my Inner Child’. Then came about those road blocks I mentioned above. Through a brief relationship I had, I was able to shed a tremendous amount of light on areas that are of great importance in order to move forward toward a happy, fulfilling, and successful future.

“It is important to trust what your life is trying to communicate”

I sought to dig deeper within myself to uncover and expose what I felt had a huge grip on my spirit. I started reading the book ‘TRUST’ and my entire world felt like it began to unravel as I realized I had no trust in myself – in life – or in others. As I continued reading I began to pick up the pieces that were scattered about and started slowly reclaiming the loses that I had allowed my negative ego to devour.

A few months ago I had been introduced to my inner child, now I have been introduced to my negative ego and am learning how I have allowed this part of me to affect so many aspects of life. I have sought to control my circumstances and everyone involved in them, I wanted an outcome of guaranteed results, the ones that I had pictured in my mind. I deceived myself for many years carrying on this way because I didn’t trust myself or life to take care of my subsequent needs. I was the master of my own deception.

Somewhere along the line I learned to place my trust in things and people I should not have and ignored my own inner voice. In lying to myself, ignoring my inner voice and acting upon pure emotions, I had invited others to do and act in the same respect within the parameters of these relationships. I had no Boundaries thus making it very difficult to understand how to respect the boundaries of others.

“In life we always get what we expect”

“You will find it easier to trust if you understand what you put out will come back”

It is time to take accountability for the choices I had made and their consequences, otherwise I will “continue to chase peace and joy.” It is now time to learn to trust myself – trust in God- trust the process of life and others.

First up is to get my negative ego in check, to quiet it down to a voice that is unrecognizable and replace it with positive affirmation.
Then I must start making healthy decisions that will build reliance, creating self-trust.
I must develop some healthy boundaries for myself, knowing where I am willing to be flexible within them and in return this will help me to respect the boundaries of others.
I need to re-program my thoughts and behaviors so when a challenging moment arises I do not latch on to the feelings and actions I learned to use out of fear.
I will learn to value my “self-affirmation” more than “external validation”
and to know, no matter what – above all- I will be ok.

“What we hold in our hearts determines how we move through life”

As My Personal Journey continues on I become more in touch with whom I really am. Until we can see clearly and be completely honest with ourselves – self-trust is not attainable.

Maureen xo

What I Learned this Week~

Posted on May 1, 2016March 31, 2022 by twomomsadmin

JUST BREATHE~

As my mind drifts throughout each day, sometimes I get fixed on something that’s not so positive or uplifting to my spirit. It may even be a thought that hasn’t had a chance to reveal itself in actuality and I am already playing the scenario out in a negative way.

This weekend I found myself doing this and I immediately thought, I need to focus on each moment and stop worrying about the hour ahead, the next day, or even the next month.

When your mind begins to focus on events that are out of your control and you start projecting negativity, it’s time to take a deep breath and just think about the task you are doing at that moment and the rest of the day will lend the fruition of itself in a much more positive manner.

So, I did my very best to do just that, focus on each moment. By the end of the day I looked back and I was more than satisfied with its outcome. I had no expectations or worries about what may or may not be- it just was and it was a great day!

“Welcome each day like a good meal” ~Joan Erikson

Live well xxoo

The Next and Biggest Step in my Journey ~ Meeting my Inner Child

Posted on January 17, 2016July 30, 2016 by twomomsadmin

“It’s a journey”, I repeatedly tell myself, “A journey I need to take if I am ever going to rid myself of this debilitating pain of shame and loneliness.”

It’s been a while since I last posted and I wanted to share some of the substantial milestones I have been hurdling. I have been on a journey of self-discovery for most of my adult life and my most recent significant change has sparked an immediate deluge of familiar and unsettling feelings. For those that have been following the portion of my blog, ‘My Personal Journey in Life ’, know my marital status has changed. Not to sound cynical, but it has been one of the best and most significant changes for me. It has allowed me to break free from a life that was not meant for me and in return is helping me to transform into the individual I want to be and meant to be. Without change there is no progress and as I grow older in years I have come to welcome change with open arms, no matter what form it appears in. Change means renewing and a renewing of one’s spirit is a beautiful thing.

I have always carried a feeling of loneliness and shame deep within me for as long as I can remember. I came to understand these feelings as I got older as the absence of a relationship, the scarcity of acceptance and lack of love from my biological father. Little did I know how long and how bitterly it would affect my life.

Thinking back I believe I started showing outward signs of his physical and emotional absence in my early 20’s. My dating relationships were affected by my clinginess. Not all of them, just particular ones that possessed a quality that brought about insecurities I didn’t quite understand at that time. These chosen few would touch a cord within me that would bring to the forefront my deep wounds. I would inwardly and outwardly feel scared, alone, abandoned and shameful. The relationship would end because I would self-destruct unknowingly and unaware of what I was truly doing.

My mid 20’s brought about the introduction of panic attacks and an eating disorder as I was wildly grasping for control in my life; at this point I had no clue how to heal myself or really what was fueling me to feel that I might be mildly insane. Always having such a deep need to understand myself and a desire for peace within my soul, I finally sought out counseling. After several visits with several counselors I found a wonderful woman that helped me begin my journey of self-discovery and healing.

It was about a couple years later when I met my husband at my place of employment. He was 9 years younger than I. At this time in my life I was feeling pretty darn good. I had purchased my own home and was feeling quite independent and happy. We began dating and it wasn’t too long after that we were engaged and getting married. When he proposed I was neither ready nor sure that I wanted to take this monumental step with him, but I did. I didn’t want to crush him, he was very fragile and in retrospect that made me feel strong. He needed someone to take care of him and I unknowingly fell into the role of needing to take care of someone. This was proof that my journey of healing my wounds was long from over. For thirteen years I covered up my wounds and hid them where they were not visible and I created a strong facade. This is what my husband needed and this was a way for me to avoid dealing with the pain within me that I was not yet ready to face. To further my denial, I crafted a shield so thick and strong it could not be penetrated by him or even me. I learned early on before I said, “I do”, that I needed to guard myself from my husband. My inner conscience knew that if I left myself vulnerable and exposed to him, he would rip me to shreds (to his credit – he too had open exposed wounds and never meant me any harm), so I protected myself never allowing him to see my most vulnerable side. I had already endured enough pain and that was the best and only way I knew to protect and heal myself at that time.

Here I am fourteen years later, picking up where I left off. I am still learning how to heal these open and exposed wounds that were formed from the very beginning of my existence. I have just recently been introduced to my inner child; she has decided it is safe to come out from hiding. She is one scared, lonely, shameful little girl. It saddens me that the bright spirit of this beautiful little girl would be so weighted down by things she never had control over, things that were never her fault. How horrible for anyone to experience such anxious, distressed feelings. She has reached out to me so many times, but I have repeatedly ignored her and this made her retreat. She didn’t trust me enough to show me her pain or trust I would accept her and believe her and protect her. I am so relieved to have finally gained her trust and we are working together to heal these open wounds.

I have learned these wounds cannot be healed by any friend or romantic relationship, meaning there is not one person that can fill the gaping hole that was left within me. This took me 24 years to understand and accept. Trying to find someone or something to fill this emptiness was just another way of avoiding the pain and acceptance I needed to face. I now accept that my soul is wounded, that I unnecessarily feel ashamed and guilty for things I never did, that I am angry, truly angry for such an injustice, and for the deep sense of loneliness I have endured. The only way for me to heal these wounds is to become a parent of this little girl that was left to feel abandoned by someone that was supposed to love her unconditionally. I will now insure she knows that she is no longer alone, she no longer needs to feel ashamed for being left alone, and that she did nothing wrong.

I am not sure how much longer my journey will take, but I’m not giving up, I have gotten this far and that little girl is depending on me and I refuse to let her down. I feel like I have climbed a mountain and have reached the top, “I made it! I pushed through! What a sense of accomplishment! I know I can continue and I will.”

Life is beautiful but there are some not so beautiful things that happen in life. It is up to us to push through the things that are not so beautiful and to create beauty where there once was not. The feeling of freedom of a life lived without armor, without fear or shame is attainable if you continue to push through the uncomfortable, painful barriers until you reach the finish.

I share these overwhelmingly very personal trials, experiences, and moments with the world in hopes it will benefit and support others that may be going through similar journeys. I am not embarrassed by my journey because it was meant for me to take ……..and I truly believe, to share as well.

“Share what you know, be generative and pass it on” Joan Erikson

Before I end, I want to thank some very giving, loving, and selfless people that have supported and ministered me to continue to push forward and through – for encouraging me and ensuring me that I deserved understanding, and never lost faith that I would never give up.

Thank you Mommy, Aunt Patty, Vivian, my belated Nanny for loving me like every Grandmother should love their grandchild- as if they are flawless, and to my new friend that has been an amazing support, a breath of fresh air and who came into my life just at the right moment– your friendship is one I will cherish always ~ xo

Aunt Patty- Nanny- and my Mommy

Me and my Nanny

Maureen ~ xo

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It Takes Courage to Grow Up and Become Who You Really Are~

Posted on January 1, 2016July 3, 2020 by twomomsadmin

Wow! 2017!? It really is true what they say about time, it does move faster the older you get.

As I rang in the 2017 New Year with my family, I stood silently in the background recording the celebration as they banged pots and pans together, blew horns, and yelled, “HAPPY NEW YEAR!” into the crisp cold winter air. My silent thoughts reflected on how different this New Year celebration was compared to the last few before it. I suspected the following one would be different yet as I continue to redefine my new life. As the New Year was ushered in by the sounds of celebration I was deep in my thoughts trusting that I had learned much, grown wiser, and had accomplished something commendable.

2016 was a great year for growth, enlightenment, and acceptance. It provided many circumstances that created significant changes, changes that were important to take place in order to move forward in life, love, and the choices I will make in the future.

It seemed like my life was set on cruise control, I didn’t worry about the speed I was traveling nor the destination I was set to arrive at, then….. BAM! A collision caused me to spin out of control that had me praying, “Jesus take the wheel!”, but out of my wreckage came something more refined, more defined, and more beautiful- Me. Life is funny that way; we can always count on it to provide us with the experiences we need to bring us to the places we must go in order to become who and what we were meant to be, in this alone is much beauty.

Even though I was in agreeance with the divorce- it was way more difficult to move forward than I anticipated. I was forced into places of discomfort from doors that swung open, ones that I thought were locked for good. It was an intense training course about reality and how to graciously handle it, though I didn’t graciously do any of it in the beginning. I am happy to report that I closed this past year out with a passing grade and have moved onto my next course, ‘Creating your New Life’. The slate is blank which leaves endless possibilities.

A viewpoint makes all the difference in how we proceed to our next destination; the choice to view the past year’s events as a gift or a hindrance. To view them as stepping stones that lead to higher grounds or as pits that entrap and hold us captive.

I am counting on 2017 to be another great year, one that will provide all I need to continue to become all I was meant to be as I Run 2 My Life in this crazy beautiful world.

“It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are.” E.E. Cummings

How was 2016 for you? Are you able to take its events and see them as positive reinforcement in your life? I would love to hear your thoughts!

One Year Later I am Stronger ~ How Running Made this Possible

Posted on October 7, 2015July 12, 2022 by twomomsadmin

Here I am one year later – running a race that marked a pivotal point in my life, the General Montgomery Day race. It was the first race I ever ran and looking back, in one year’s time I have certainly accomplished a lot. A lot includes not only my skill and endurance but also my self confidence in me and life.

A good friend asked me how running has changed my life, so naturally I turned his question into a blog post. On this anniversary of running my first race, I am reflecting on my outlook on life and running.

Initially I didn’t plan to become a runner, I just wanted to participate in a runDisney event with my DBFF (Disney Best Friend Forever) and wear a tutu while doing it. That desire to wear a tutu turned into a desire to live a more fulfilling life – that must have been one powerful tutu!

Running has become the most effective tool for showing me what I am really made of. It has proved that I can push through barriers and that struggles are only obstacles that are meant to be hurdled and conquered. Running makes me feel strong, powerful, accomplished and an awesome role model for my daughter. As the miles accumulated so did my desire for more; not just more miles but more out of life.

While I was falling in love with this new ideal I began to go through a major transition in my life; in hindsight I see how running was preparing me for those changes.

Running not only helps me to realize I have no limits in what I strive to accomplish but it also broke me out of the small world I created for myself over the years. As life evolves I must evolve with it, just like my running goals. Running and racing has become my vehicle to see the world as a whole new beautiful and inspiring place – from my backyard to Infinity and Beyond!

I love a challenge by nature. This is partially how I became hooked on running. I continue to challenge myself with speed, endurance, mileage, strength, and wisdom. Running has forced me to dig deep within, not only physically but emotionally as well. Some people run to clear their mind but for me during emotionally trying times my running suffers greatly, making it an important priority to look deep within to unlock and release whatever is weighing me down, figuratively and literally.

So here I am one year later~
Some of my recent changes have taken quite a toll on me emotionally, spiritually, and at times physically. There are days that I just cry and I can’t possible run – but I know I am so very strong and capable of getting back up and brushing my knees off and tackling life. It may not be the next day, it may even take a whole week for me to put my running shoes back on, but I know I am going to do it. How do I know this? Because running has taught me that if I push back hard enough and I set my mind in the right place I can win any battle whether it’s a race or in life.

One year later I am not just a stronger runner, I am a stronger me. Some days I don’t feel so strong but I know that deep within, my strength is there, I just have to dig deep to release it- running has shown me this. Some challenges take longer to conquer and that is why they are called challenges. Running continues to teach me that conquering challenges takes time and patience, the patience part….. well I haven’t gotten there yet- I’m still working on that.

Oh! And by the way, that one year later of training brought my miles per minute for this General Montgomery Day 10K race from 11:39 in 2014 to 9:22 in 2015.

Don’t stop pushing, don’t stop dreaming, and don’t stop doing because you can accomplish whatever you set your mind to.

JEFF GALLOWAY

THE TRAINING PLAN

WHY SHOULD I HAVE A TRAINING PLAN? When using a proven strategy, a runner gains control over fatigue while improving motivation. Those who follow the right training plan, for the individual, tend to improve more, with less injury risk.

WOULD BEGINNERS BENEFIT MORE FROM A PLAN? Unfortunately, most beginners “run as they feel” or follow conflicting advice. This leads to confusion and more aches and pains. The right schedule will systematically increase the type of running needed for a goal, with strategic rest for rebuilding.

KEY TRAINING ELEMENTS:
1) A longer run builds endurance, 2) a hilly run builds strength, 3) Scenic or social runs insert fun and keep you coming back for more.

WHAT IS ADDED TO A PLAN IF THE GOAL IS TO RUN FASTER? The right training plan will gradually increase the speed repetitions needed for the individual goal. Easier days and rest days must be inserted before and after speed workouts. To avoid injury, the pace and the increase must be realistic for the individual.

EVERY OTHER DAY! Most runners—especially beginners—run best when they run every other day. This allows for the “weak links” to heal. The very slow long run is usually on the weekend, when there is more time available. Hills and fun days can be run on the short runs during the week (for example, Tuesday and Thursday)

SHOULD I EXERCISE ON NON-RUNNING DAYS? While you don’t have to exert yourself on non running days to improve your running, exercise will energize your mind, and improve your attitude and vitality—while burning some fat. So I recommend any exercise that does not fatigue the calf muscle, such as recreational walking.

DOES VARIETY HELP? Changing things a bit can improve motivation. You don’t have to change the “mission” on specific days, but alternating some of the courses or running with different groups can make each day more interesting.

WHAT ARE VARIOUS MISSIONS, FOR VARIOUS DAYS? Each type of run bestows a different benefit. Hill runs build strength. Drills that work on cadence, gentle acceleration and gliding will improve your running form. Long runs produce stamina and endurance.

WHAT SHOULD I DO THE DAY BEFORE AND THE DAY AFTER LONG OR FASTER RUNS? Take it easy on these days. Do little or no exercise, don’t over-eat, drink 8 glasses of water/sports drinks, and focus on how you will enjoy the next run.

SHOULD I SKIP THE REST DAYS—TO IMPROVE MORE QUICKLY? Not Recommended! It is during the days off from running that the running body rebuilds and improves. While some runners can get away with running short and slow runs on rest days for a while, these “junk miles” can compromise recovery and lead to injuries.

IF I DON’T LIKE A WORKOUT CAN I SUBSTITUTE? Following a consistent plan is more likely to lead to success and improve motivation. Those who pick various elements from different schedules experience more burnout and injury.

Learning to love myself just as I am ~ without a label

Posted on September 1, 2015February 15, 2016 by twomomsadmin

Recently my status has changed from married, to …. soon not to be married. I have labeled myself with the title of wife for 13 years.

I am just beginning to realize I have used these labels throughout life to create an identity for myself; it’s almost as if I need these labels to feel like a complete person. “Hi, my name is Maureen; I am a Mom, a wife, a runner and blogger – this is who I am.” But is it really?

I believe I’ve struggled with needing to label myself since my early 20’s. I felt completely lost most of those years searching for who I really was. I looked for my identity through boyfriends I dated, jobs I worked, religious organizations, and friends that would come and go throughout my life. Then at age thirty two I was married and my identity was of wife, at thirty five it became wife and mother and I struggled immensely feeling lost once again. I didn’t understand who I was outside of wife and mother and it took me years to feel comfortable within my own skin. Now I am getting divorced and losing a label and those unsure feelings are back, again. I do think this is somewhat normal, it’s a part of growing and learning who I am and who I want to be in this world.

Good enough labels ~

When labeling myself, I must be the utmost perfection of that label; otherwise it must not be true.

If I am not the best mother, the kind that attends all the sporting events, plans the best parties, joins the PTA- volunteering for everything – am I good enough?
If I am not the best wife, the kind that always has her house clean and in order, dinner made, bills paid, and keeps her husband and child satisfied and happy- am I good enough?
If I am not a great runner, the kind that can run a half marathon fully without walking one step, cross trains five days a week and enters all the local races – am I good enough?
If I am not a consistent blogger/writer, the kind that can write and post on a daily/weekly basis, always has the mindset to create and turn out the best pieces in a snap – am I good enough?

Without these labels and without being the best at each one – am I Maureen and am I good enough? This is what I am working on, figuring out why I need to label myself to feel relevant and good enough.

Am I trying to prove something to someone or myself? What happens if I am not a wife or even someone’s girlfriend anymore? Does this mean I am not good enough to be loved? Did I do something wrong that no one would want to love me? This is obviously a ridiculous question/statement. But somehow along the way I have adopted this line of thinking and it filters down into all the other labels I seek to place on myself.

I will tell you, it is exhausting trying to sustain these labels and to perfection, or what I perceive to be perfection. It is an internal struggle and battle that I wage war with quite often. How freeing it would be to feel I didn’t have to “be” anything. To know who I was without a label. To feel good enough without a label and at its perfection. How do I do this?

I have been on a journey of self-discovery for as long as I can remember and each time I seem to have a grasp on who it is I think I am – **** BAM **** life begins to change and it throws me off. I understand we are always learning and discovering about ourselves and I believe this makes life fun and challenging. It would be a dull and unfulfilled life to remain the same person from a child through adulthood. That being said I don’t want to feel the necessity to label or title myself as something to have an identity.

I want to be a great mom because I love my daughter and she is my world – period

I want my future romantic relationship(s) to enhance my happiness, not be the source of it and using them as my identity.
I want to be a runner free of demands I put on myself for perfection.
I want to be a blogger/writer simply because I love to share my experiences with the world and inspire others.

I want to live my life knowing who I am without a label and feel perfectly ok with it.

“Hi, my name is Maureen.” Period end of sentence

A Beautiful Day at the Bronx Zoo

Posted on August 11, 2015July 12, 2022 by twomomsadmin

I always find myself searching for a little Disney when I’m off visiting new destinations. Disney Parks have left such an impression on me that I try to reconnect with the immense joy it brings me, after all …… it is my Happy Place!

Yesterday I had the pleasure of visiting the Bronx Zoo for the very first time and my thoughts went straight to Disney’s Animal Kingdom. Now, I know Animal Kingdom is “Nahtazu!” (not a zoo), it’s an animal theme park, (and so much more), but as usual I automatically began making my connections between the two.

When buying tickets for the Bronx Zoo it is important to decide what exhibits and attractions you most want to visit. A regular admission ticket will not allow you to enter into their E-ticket experiences. My dear friend of 30 years purchased a Family Premium Membership which allowed us to enjoy all they had to offer along with free parking, and additional discounts within the park.

Here are the highlights to some of our favorite experiences ……..

Out first stop was Butterfly Garden ~

Being in a garden of butterflies I can’t help but to take a deep breath and smile, there is something very enchanting about the experience. There were a few things that made this Butterfly Garden extra special.

There was a large glass window displaying a room of butterfly chrysalises where the girls learned the stages of a butterfly life cycle.

A butterfly discovery map was provided to help identify each butterfly species……

and my favorite part of all were the adorable wooden insect cut outs that displayed interesting facts about how insects pollinate and protect our Earth.

Along our path we encountered Zucker Bug Carousel and decided to take a spin. I never thought I would have the opportunity to ride a cockroach!

Our next journey was through the Congo Gorilla Forest then a quick trip through the African Plains ~

Here we saw Mother Gorillas sleeping with their babies on their chest. There were several of them; a very sweet sight.

A quick bite to eat at the Dancing Crane Café

and then we were off to Asia Plaza for a ride on the Wild Asia Monorail! I saw the word monorail and immediately got excited! This Bronx Zoo monorail reminded me of Animal Kingdom’s Wildlife Express Train with the open air side facing cars. The girls seemed to really love this tour and it gave their tired little feet a rest as well.

The day was coming to an end so we quickly made our way through Himalayan Highlands where the playful Grizzly Bears resided with their not so distant neighbor a GIGANTIC Polar Bear! The most popular and well-loved animal of the day seemed to be the Red Panda, somehow one seemed to make it home with us!

As we searched for the Southern Boulevard parking area we heard a boisterous barking sound and quickly realized we were right next to Astor Court where the Sea Lions “live”. There was one HUGE Sea Lion commanding much attention from the crowd. His/her bark was constant, loud and echoed all around us! He was quiet amusing and I could of stayed there for an indefinite amount of time watching his/her shenanigans.

We had a wonderful day at the Bronx Zoo. The weather was perfect and the animals were all in full view. Rebekah said she had a great time so that to me equals success!