So much of our passion flows through our femininity.
As women we are wild and raw, creative and courageous, strong, enthusiastic, empathetic spiritual beings. We were created this way. When we allow our femininity to emerge, so does the truth of our voice.
This week’s mantra- “I honor my commitment to Self to find my True Voice” has deeply stirred my spirit. A few days after writing this, I had a nourishing conversation that brought me to the realization that I have politely tucked my femininity away. It always amazes me how much wisdom our subconscious mind and feeling bodies carry, as it was speaking to me through my own words that I shared with you.
I’m not sure of the exact date and time that I quietly, and unconsciously hid my femininity away, but I have come to realize I have been doing this my whole life. There are so many reasons that we allow our feminine fire to slowly burn out; disconnected relationships, shame, childhood issues, pregnancy, to name a few.
Disconnecting from our innate wild and raw femininity not only restrains our voice, but our entire body- mind- spirit connection.
I ask you this, do you have permission to express all of who you are as a beautiful, spiritual, and physical wild woman? Summon your wild wisdom. Root down to rise up. Connect to the rhythm of your heart. Dig deep through the stillness; dance as you let out a howl- your true voice.
Fly Free, xxoo
Let’s talk… about the uncomfortable truth of Self-Compassion.
Your best friend calls you on the phone; she is crying. “I don’t know what has come over me today,” her voice filled with anguish. “I ate a chocolate doughnut with extra frosting, lost my temper with the kids, blew off my workout at the gym, and now I just told my husband that I can’t stand looking at his face!” She bursts into tears once again.
Your heart hurts for her, as you do your best to console her. You know she has been dealing with a lot of personal issues lately and she isn’t allowing herself the time and space to heal.
Most people find it easier to be compassionate toward others rather than themselves.
It’s a natural human desire to want to relieve the suffering of another human. But in order give compassion, we must first have the awareness and ability to give it to ourselves. Compassion is defined as a “Shared Feeling , a level of sympathy so deep that it inspires action to alleviate another’s pain, sorrow or suffering.” We must firstly be able to connect to our own suffering, to feel our own discomforts and then take action to soothe our personal pain in a healthy way.
How do I learn to be Self-Compassionate?
In yogic traditions there is a practice called Ahimsa which means non-violence. This not only refers to physical action but also thoughts and words toward one’s self, others, and all living creatures. This principle reminds us of the importance of self-compassion
Creating space for ourselves is an important part of learning to be self-compassionate- The first step in showing yourself compassion is to make space in your day to just be in your own thoughts, to be with yourself in the present moment. Not thoughts of yesterday or two minutes ago or in an hour… just right now. Be aware of your body and its sensations and emotional feelings. Allow your physical and emotional needs to be important, heard, and seen by YOU. This is where Self-Compassion starts- the acknowledgement of Self. Learning how to soothe and heal your pain is the next step, but for now acknowledging the truth of how you feel is key.
Here is the Uncomfortable Truth About Offering Compassion.
Another yogic practice is Seva, meaning selfless service. This asks us to serve others with a mindset of expecting nothing in return and having no expectations regarding the outcome.
The ability to offer compassion to alleviate another’s suffering is a beautiful picture of a human act of love. Even more so when the action is aligned with a pure intention. There is the saying, “If you want to change the world, you have to start with yourself first.”
At the deepest level- at my core, what is my intention?
My ideas of compassion have led me into difficult situations, some life altering. For me, compassion meant not saying No. On the surface level, I was afraid to hurt someone’s feelings, felt selfish, or I felt a sense of pity for them. My “compassion” was not coming from a place of pure intention rather from a deeper source of pain that I had not healed yet. Sometimes I wanted to feel needed, purposeful. Sometimes it was easier to offer others words of healing and encouragement rather than look at my own issues.
It’s really unnerving to ask ourselves questions that may uncover a deeper truth.
When you offer compassion, is it coming from a shared feeling (not just an experience) in which you have connected to within yourself and taken healthy actions to soothe? The hard question is, are you offering compassion as a means to distract yourself from your own internal suffering, to feel a false sense of healing through another, or maybe to find a sense of worthiness?
Like I mentioned above, these are really difficult questions to ask, because what if the answer is… yes?
If this is true for you, firstly, do not get down on yourself; you are in good company. The good news is you are now aware of your need for compassion too. Taking the uncomfortable journey inward to feel in order to heal is the most loving act we can take for ourselves and then secondly for others. Remember compassion is not something you have to search for outside of yourself, it already lives inside of you at your deepest core.
What is one thing that you can begin to do to show yourself… Self-Compassion?
Sending my love~ Maureen
Each Sunday I offer my yoga class a Mantra or Meditation card. Each card offers a message to help focus our attention and direct our flow of energy… being our breath, our thoughts, and movement. Today’s message is, “My Greatest Weaknesses Have Become My Greatest Strengths. “On the card is a picture of a lotus flower. Above the murky dark water you can see its elegant beauty; below its roots travel down and are grounded strong and deep into the muddy water bed.What a lovely reminder that beauty emerges from the darkest of places. Our roots and the life experiences we grow through allow us an opportunity to use our innate strength within to create change and overcome challenges.The Lotus reminds us to focus on our innermost self, our very essence which is Love- Compassion- Kindness and the notion of transformation.
Giving ourselves Grace and Space to grow and learn from our murky-dark waters is an important part of transforming a weakness into a strength.
Embrace YOUR roots and allow your authentic self to shine through♡ becoming…
Wonderfully, Beautifully You♡
Photo taken at Innisfree Gardens in Dutchess County.
Comfortable- Cozy- Safe- Loved- Welcomed
These words opened up the previous article, Are You At Home, (link to post here https://rootingtorise.com/?p=3586). We talked about feeling at home in your body by connecting your thoughts- emotions- and physically feelings.
I asked you to track this by jotting down any physical feelings throughout the day, (tightness in your jaw, lower back pain, stomach ache) then also any emotions that arose, (anxiousness, frustration, excitement.) At the end of each day comparing the physical feelings and the emotions and allowing yourself to be curious about any correlations.
What Do I Do Now?
Before we talk about the next action toward feeling at home in your body, I encourage you to continue to sense physical sensations and take note of emotional responses.
Adding to your physical and emotional tracking, begin to be aware of how you speak to your body. Watch and listen to the words you use and your tone.
Have you ever gotten into an argument or heated discussion with another member in your household? If their words and tone were not respectful or kind, how did that make you feel? In my experience, I wanted to leave the house because it became an unwelcoming space. This is a similar situation when you speak to your body in a negative way.
“Why are you so lazy?” “How come I didn’t know that answer- I’m so stupid.” “I shouldn’t have eaten that- I have no willpower.”
“Great job- great effort!” “You look beautiful” “You are so strong to be able to handle this situation”
Words and their tone are powerful tools that you can use to create a loving environment within yourself that will help you to feel safer.
Just as you jotted down physical feelings and emotions, now also notate how you speak to yourself or speak to certain parts of your body. Again, with no judgement, just notice and take a curious approach.
I want to congratulate you on taking this journey of awareness. I also want to encourage you to stay with it. It can be a rough road, but well worth some of the bumps or bruises along the way.
Our next step will be taking a glance into the past.