Unexpected Affirmations

It was one of those weekday mornings when you wake up and for some unknown reason you just feel off. The kind of morning that feels like a battle just to get out of bed and start moving.On this particular morning I actually argued with myself not to call out sick. Maybe it was the strange encumbering dreams or the persistent dreary weather that refused to give way to sunshine that caused my inoperative mood. Regardless of dreams or weather, it was not a morning that felt like it would be filled with inspiration, but it didn’t end that way!

The sound of the alarm echoed in my ears, I reached for my phone and swiped toward snooze. I closed my eyes and immediately began dreaming. The sounding of the alarm once again, coupled with the pleading meows of two cats, finally got me to my feet.

I took my disgruntled self to the kitchen and began my morning routine. The cats encircled my legs while looking up at me with their half shut eyes. I dished out their morning kibble, my not so jovial mood was none of their concern. As I waited for my first cup of coffee to brew, I stared out the kitchen window while washing the remnants of last nights snack dishes. The crazy dreams that invaded my slumber the night before flooded my mind; my subconscious runs a muck while I sleep, I think to myself and shake my head in a slightly confused state. Slowly shuffling back to my bedroom holding my steaming coffee mug against my chest to allow it’s warmth to penetrate my t-shirt, I will the day to already be over. I have thirty minutes before Rebekah is to arrive home from her father’s house to catch the school bus, hopefully I can shake this crappy feeling by then.

My cup was empty and Rebekah was walking up the front porch steps. I jump up off my bed and quickly get to the front door as it opens- ready or not all systems a go!

“Good morning little girl.” I say as she flies in the front door and makes a beeline for her room.

“Mom, do you know where my lint roller is?!”, she yells from her closed bedroom door.

I place my hand on her door knob and before I so much as turn it, she yells,”Don’t come in! I’m changing my shirt!”

I take a deep cleansing breath and turn and walk toward the kitchen. Searching through the junk drawer I find it laying next to several pens, pencils and thumb tacks. “You have eight minutes until the bus comes!”, I shout out toward her room. She emerges from her room grabs the lint roller and runs to the bathroom. I can hear the water running and the sounds of a toothbrush working fast and furious. “Rebekah, we have to go now or we will miss the bus.” I say as calmly as possible; an impromptu trip to the middle school was not on my list of things to do that morning.

“I’m not ready yet!” she frantically yells while running back into her bedroom.

I drop my head and take another cleansing breath. I place her lunch into her lunch box, grab her bottle of water from the fridge and stand by the front door with my keys in hand ,not knowing if we were taking the short ride up the hill to the bus stop or a car ride all the way to school. She plops down on the tiled floor and shoves her sneakers on her feet and grabs her backpack and off we go. I start the car and begin driving up the hill to the bus stop when suddenly she wells up with tears, “I left my gym clothes on the chair!”

“I will drop them off to you on my way to work.” I say glad to relieve her of her worrisome look. I guess I will be taking that impromptu trip after all, I think to myself as I hear the bus brakes squealing to a stop.

“Thanks Mom!,” she says as she opens the car door and jumps out. Lowering her head back down, she says quickly, “Love you!” then runs off to the bus.

I smile and call out after her, “Love you too little girl, have a good day.”

Driving back down the hill to the house I notice how thick and grey the clouds are, they mimic my dreary mood to a tee. I couldn’t wait to wrap my hands around a second cup of coffee and just sit and read for a bit. I still have a good amount of time before leaving for work, maybe enough time to turn my mood around or I may just have to resolve to calling out sick.

After another strong cup of coffee and a little meditation, I coax myself into the shower, why waste sick time on a bad mood and a rainy day. I pull some random top from my closet, do a quick five minute face with my makeup essentials, take three minutes to blow dry my hair and I am out the door.

First, a quick pit stop to the middle school with the forgotten canvas bag of gym clothes and then I continue on to work. Parking is scarce but I finally find a far off space. I dig in my bag for my umbrella and begin my trek across the campus. “Good Morning.” I say in a half hearted cheery way to my fellow administrative co-worker, as I enter into the School of Nursing.

Glancing over at my desk I see a vase of colorful spring flowers. How nice, I think in a confused manner. I set my bags under my desk and see another bouquet of flowers lying alongside my keyboard with two cards addressed to me saying Happy Administrative Assistants Day- now it made sense!  A gift bag and a few other items wrapped in tissue paper and curly ribbon were placed by my monitor. I settle myself in and open the first card. Inside was a $50.00 gift card, but more importantly were notes of gratitude written by the professors which immediately made me smile from the inside out.  Opening the next card, from a professor that has become very dear to me, I notice for the very first time that her handwriting resembles my belated Nanny’s. In some way I feel it’s a sign I am meant to take notice of. Inside the card was a gift- an overly generous gift in the form of a check. Speechless, I sit motionless staring at the generous gift that lay alongside her sweet words of appreciation within the card. I close the card, slide it back inside the envelope and place it in my purse for safe keeping. Among the other gifts were soaps and tea, chocolate, and a Dunkin Donuts gift card, I am starting to feel like I made the right choice to come to work today! I clear my desk space and try to focus on my work for the day.

Just as I am starting to gain focus, my co-worker and I are asked to come down the hall to the conference room for a meeting. Feeling a bit frustrated because I needed to retain focus, I grab my water bottle and a banana and head out the office doors and down the corridor. As I turn the corner, the glass window walls reveal something much different than a meeting, it’s a celebration. My eyes widen at the spread of food covering every inch of the conference table. Walking through the doors with a smile from ear to ear, I am realizing this was not a day of defeat but more like a message to push on regardless of how I might be feeling at any given moment- day- or week. As I stood at the foot of the room, looking around at everyone, I thought how nice it would be if we could do this every so often for no other reason than to just enjoy each others company.

After I had my fill of conversation and food, I decide to make my way back to the office and try to once again regain focus on the tasks of the day. I sat at my desk in deep thought while munching on a chocolate chip cookie that I brought back from the luncheon. It’s interesting how quickly a person’s day can change. I started out in a foggy, grim state of mind and in a matter of a few hours I was enjoying a day full of blessings and gratitude. Imagine if I had given in to my melancholy mood. Imagine if I didn’t make the decision to push myself forward; I would of not only missed out on a day of celebration in my honor but I would of also disappointed a lot of people who put their good thoughts and time into something special.

I spent the rest of the day in much gratitude for my job, the people I work with, and for the reminder that each day is a gift in one way or another- regardless of how I might feel when I wake up in the morning. It takes effort to maintain a mindful heart of gratitude through all of life’s events, but if we do it is sure to only create more positive moments that will enhance and bless our lives in the days to come.

Live Well~

 

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