Month: November 2017

I’ve been so busy living for tomorrow I forgot to live for today…..

Posted on by twomomsadmin

I haven’t posted on my blog in quite a while, it’s been about a year to be exact.

I have been caught up in searching for my future instead of enjoying each gifted day.

My mind is always so busy focusing on, “What will tomorrow bring?”, and, “Where will I be next month or one year from now?” 

Why is it that I am always looking forward to what tomorrow, next week, next month, or the next year has in store instead of  simply looking forward to what today will bring?

 

Always searching for something more, something better, something more enlightening becomes habitual. This is not to say that we shouldn’t always strive to do better or to pursue our dreams – but I think we can easily cross a line into a place where feeling what we have or where we are at any given time is not good enough. I am a firm believer that we have a God given destiny but that we also determine our own path to that destiny by the choices we make. Depending on how long it takes us to figure out how the natural flow of life works will depend on how long it takes us to reach each destination we are prescribed to be.

When I think about the times I make a conscience effort to feel grateful, hopeful, and happy each day and live in the present moment , it is these times that I feel the most fulfilled. One thing I know for sure is the more grateful I am, the more positive of an outlook I keep, and the more I expect for goodness to follow me- it surely does.  Our thoughts define our actions. Our daily thoughts don’t just stay with us, they go out into the world and act as an invitation and RSVP back to us with the same views- feelings- and judgments that we send out.

I am not saying that life doesn’t throw us some curve balls but it’s important not to stay in the mindset of, “Tomorrow will be a better day.”, because we are given today to be happy, to be grateful, and be a blessing to others. We are given today to receive what ever the day may bring- which is a portion of our destination and purpose. 

As the winter season begins and the holidays usher in peace- joy- and goodwill to men, I will be focusing on each gifted day and sending good vibrations out to all and expecting to receive them right back. For what you send out into the world is what you shall receive. I am sure I will still wonder what the future may hold but I will remind myself  that each day brings about exactly what I need and things will unfold in their due time- the perfect time.

Walk through your day with a glad heart and a smile on your face and see the difference you make in each day not only for yourself, your friends and family but for all that happen to cross your path.

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. ~ Philippians 4:6

Live well,

Maureen~

The Truth about Change

Posted on by twomomsadmin

It’s been almost a full year since I last posted on my blog. I have written several pieces but easily was distracted and never went back to finish them.

It’s been a busy year with many changes. Jamie moved in this past spring, I put the house on the market in the summer, I got engaged on my birthday in July, and I am now moving into a rented farmhouse that needs a lot of elbow grease and TLC. These are big changes and they have set off a lot of emotional responses. Turns out I’m not so great at excepting change and allowing life to usher me into the next phase. It is all overwhelming and when I am overwhelmed my brain doesn’t think too clearly. Maybe it’s the amount of change that has occurred in such a short period of time….? 

I looked back at a piece I wrote last January and I was a bit disappointed to find that I am still mending from past events. I  have been trekking through this jungle, which I referred to as a “crazy beautiful world” in that January post, for about 3 years. How long will it take for me to stop feeling the aftershocks of my past? 

I have found myself in states that were both frightening and liberating. One moment I feel as if I have achieved the gold medal for running the race of life followed by another moment of me laying in a heap in the corner of the room crying, weary and dazed. I want to believe I am on the tail end of those days, but what if I’m not? It’s as if I have an inner compass that spins out of control at times. 

Trust, love, and team are words that I struggle with. It has become easy for me to quickly dismiss any connection upon a negative reaction from another. Feeling a strong sense of safety and control in disconnection, I have a growing desire to continue on in life alone. Is this a step in the direction of healing? Does this mean that my co-dependant tendencies are working themselves out, or am I simply trading one emotional issue for another? This sounds horrible, doesn’t it? The battle between fight or flight is not an easy one and challenges me often.

Being the mom I wish to be has become daunting. It is difficult to not only co-parent with your ex that is influenced by a separate household but also with another man living under the same roof with a different view of parenting. It is a stressful challenge to be strong in my own convictions and have two other people’s thoughts coming at me. 

I know I haven’t painted a very pretty picture with all that I mentioned above, but these are my struggles and challenges. So many changes have caused me to feel displaced with questions if I am moving in the right direction. I feel like my life has been placed in a blender. 

Some days are easier than others, some days seem brighter than others, some days I’m scared out of my mind and other days I am as tough as nails. I pray that God gives me the strength to fight through it all and one day I can look back and say I am a stronger and better person than I ever was.

My prayers and thoughts go out to anyone reading this that has their own personal struggles and battles they fight. Keep on moving forward, there are brighter days ahead, right?

Maureen~